By Joanna Miller, Staff Writer

It’s all about perspective.

Now, Carolina Madden values time she spent at Safe Haven Shelter for Youth, a Prior Lake-based nonprofit organization that houses homeless teens and young adults.

But anger and frustration once clouded her view, as a teen bouncing through the foster care system and group homes.

“I didn’t have an appreciation for Safe Haven until I was 17 and [moved to] Pine City. Up until then, there wasn’t too much nice I could say about the program. It’s structured,” Madden said.

Safe Haven founder and president Dan Saad said teens don’t always understand the life skills and counseling that go hand in hand with the shelter’s housing.

“At 16, it’s hard to see all of that,” Saad said.

Programming is typically a secondary item for teens looking to put a roof over their heads.

The shelter has two residential group homes in Prior Lake for at-risk youth, with room for 10 boys and six girls ages 10-18. It also has transitional homes in Burnsville for 12 young men and women ages 16-21.

At its new Prior Lake welcome center, the nonprofit added five one-bedroom apartments for supportive housing for young families in crisis.

The 3,300 square foot welcome center opened in September 2007 to add office, classroom, medical and event space, as well.

Saad said the $11.4 million project now has only $335,000 in debt thanks to numerous donations and grants. The center targets men and women ages 18-25 who need a place to stay while gaining job and independent-living skills.

“A lot of them leave because they don’t want to put up with parents’ rules of the house, or they’re getting kicked out. They end up living in a car or with a friend,” Saad said.

Youth are typically referred to Safe Haven from schools, churches, county programs and law enforcement.

Safe Haven incorporated as a nonprofit in 1995 and opened its first shelter with six beds in Prior Lake in 1997. It’s one of Prior Lake’s largest employers, with a total of 48 employees.

The shelter has developed over time, as displaced youth continue to seek housing and programs. In the last six months, Saad has had more than 40 requests for living situations for homeless young adults.

Often, teens leaving foster care at age 18 aren’t ready to fend for themselves.

For Madden, Safe Haven came toward the end of her search for a home after a failed adoption, foster care, and group home situations that began at age 5.

Today, the 22-year-old mother of two is married and works in consumer relations at Best Buy. She persevered through living adjustments and has planted her own family’s roots in Prior Lake.

But as a teen coming to the Prior Lake shelter, she was learning adaptability, and things were less secure.

“From my experiences, I know how to relate to so many different people and backgrounds. The people in my background are so diverse. The experiences I’ve had are not typical. I can be placed in a non-typical scenario and know how to adapt,” she said.

Madden said Safe Haven taught her forgiveness and helped her to change after a background of abuse and rocky home situations.Carolina Madden and her daughter,
Char, 5, now call Prior Lake home
with her husband, TJ, and
3-month-old Emily.

“Many times, I was not a very nice person. I was not someone you would call loveable,” Madden said.

She admitted to arguing with staff at Safe Haven in the past.

“I could be very physical at times. I was not a very nice person. I was reacting to issues in my past,” Madden said.

Suzie Misel was the first staff member at Safe Haven to meet Madden. Misel visited Madden at a group home in Austin, Minn. to discuss the transition to the Prior Lake shelter.

“If people describe Carolina, they probably would say she was detached, angry and depressed, and at the same time everybody loved her. She’s very likable,” Misel said.

Madden said many of her troubles stemmed from the anger she felt about her past.

“I wanted people to be as unhappy as I was,” Madden explained.

Coming home

The 2003 Prior Lake High School graduate’s first home was a children’s orphanage in Brazil.

Madden came to the United States when she was adopted at age 5, but she was removed from the home for child abuse issues at 11.

She then moved to a St. Cloud children’s home. By age 13, Madden had tried and left another foster home, which she described as having “too much freedom” for her at that point.

“I was done with that foster home by the time I was 14,” Madden said. “I actually skipped around several group homes trying to find a fit. I think I went through two to three group homes in that period.”

Her next stop was at Gerard Academy in Austin, Minn., where she continued to work on issues from home-life experiences.

“Abandonment, the abuse – I really had to learn how to trust others. I had to learn how to control my anger,” Madden said. “That actually took a while.”

In March 2001, at 15, Madden found a new home at Safe Haven.

“At that point, I had recovered enough and was able to function in a less controlled environment. I still had bouts of anger,” she said.

Saad said he knew Madden had potential to change.

“I could always see the good things in her. I could see her day to day and see she was a winner. She did make it,” Saad said.

When Madden became pregnant and needed to leave Safe Haven for a new foster home, Saad said he knew she wouldn’t become a teen parent who lived off the welfare system.

Madden said switching homes again after finding Safe Haven was another difficult twist of fate.

“I had a meltdown. This wasn’t anything that was intentional,” Madden said. “I’ve seen teen mothers and their children in the system, and that’s not a situation I wanted with my child.

“I wasn’t going to give her up; I wasn’t going to have an abortion, but we thought about all of the options.”

Her daughter Char was born in October 2002.

“That was definitely a transition in my life,” Carolina said. “They did everything to support a healthy pregnancy and support our relationship.”

“She was a fighter and she adapted,” Saad said.

Because of her child, Madden had moved to a foster home in Pine City to care for Char.

She eventually found a foster situation in Pine City where she felt at home.

“This is who Char calls Grandma and Grandpa. I eventually decided to stay in Pine City because of that relationship,” she said.

After three years in Pine City, she and her husband moved back to be closer to his family in Prior Lake.

“We had to [move back here] because it was home. Prior Lake is home for us,” Madden said.

Madden said she enjoys all of the family events Prior Lake offers for her daughters Char, 5, and Emily, 3 months.

Madden had been uprooted many times before planting roots, but she said her times in Prior Lake were the steadiest of her teen years.

“It was the closest to living the normal teenage life I’d ever been,” Madden said.

At Prior Lake High School, she joined the track team, and she also worked at Snyder Drug.

“I was actually able to form a connection with members of the community,” she said.

“I met my husband the first day of high school at Prior Lake [High School]. He asked me to prom 10 minutes after we met. TJ was hooked from day one. We’ve been together ever since,” she said.

When prom came, Carolina said the shelter staff members made sure she got to do all of the things other students at school were doing to primp for the big event.

“Suzie and another counselor helped me get ready, and I had the same prom everyone else had,” she said.

She volunteered at nursing homes with the Safe Haven program, as well.

She eventually worked at Keystone Communities in Prior Lake until 2007, when she joined Best Buy to pursue her business aspirations.

Madden has one more year of college as she studies business management through the University of Phoenix online, while continuing to work and raise her family.

“It fit in between with my school work and the kids,” she said.

Madden has learned that her determination and ability to cope is an asset, she said.

 “The older I get, the more I’m realizing it’s absolutely true. Basically everything I’ve wanted I’ve gotten. My last thing I’ve wanted is a house, and I’m working on that one,” she said.

“Carolina’s always been very mature, and her maturity has really developed,” Misel said.

Madden said Safe Haven gave her the tools for success, but it didn’t give her a free ride.

“You have to want it. You have to work for it. You have to want better for yourself,” she said. “They’re setting you up for success, but you have to want it, too.”

  Joanna Miller can be reached at (952) 345-6375 or jmiller@swpub.com.